“It can be hard to feel a sense of accomplishment when this is not always observable.” Choice Is An Illusion “But moms who stay home fulltime tend to report feelings of isolation, a loss of identity, and a loss of social interaction,” Dr. Moms who juggle jobs and childcare may even be a bit jealous of their stay at home counterparts, she says. You Work Aloneįrom one standpoint, it can be perceived as a privilege to stay at home, notes Dana Dorfman, PhD, a New York City psychotherapist and co-host of the weekly podcast, Two Moms on the Couch. Stay-at-home moms don’t have that kind of ongoing context. For working mothers, there’s the challenge of juggling these two major tasks, but the advantage is each gives the other some perspective. And, there isn’t the kind of distraction that a job brings says Dr. Not only is there so much to do, it’s often the same tasks on repeat, making one day feel almost exactly like the next without a break. There’s Virtually No Break From The Routine Trying to stick to a schedule might make you feel in control when it works but when a tantrum or a nap or the dryer breaking throws everything off, your whole day can go into a tailspin. Structure is a big challenge too, and you’re not always in control of when things will happen. SAHM report hearing, ‘But you were home all day.’ And when chores pile up, the partner who is working sometimes doesn’t understand why. Stay-at-home moms often not only take on the bulk of childcare duties, they’re also doing more of the errands, housework, and handling repairs by default since they’re the ones who are home. “Being a stay-at-home mom can be very stressful,” says Laurel Mellin, PhD, Associate Professor of Family and Community Medicine at the School of Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco and the author of The Stress Overload Solution. They were less likely to describe themselves as thriving or to say they smiled a lot or laughed a lot yesterday. women, non-employed moms of young children are more likely to report anger and sadness, and they are also more likely to have been diagnosed with depression than their employed counterparts.Įven when controlled for age, stay-at-home moms were still emotionally worse off than employed moms. According to a recent Gallup poll of more than 60,000 U.S. Their raves, complaints, and confessions often punctuated with a, ‘Granted, I’m lucky.’īut it might just be that inner voice chirping on about how grateful you should be that’s contributing to the depression wave among stay-at-home moms. Or as one woman on a Facebook thread described it, you’re in a “wartime hellhole with four hours of peace in between.” Yet, for all of the dark moments, SAHMs almost always agree, they’re fortunate to be able to be home. ![]() That’s because the job is being a stay at home mom. But you are, ‘sooo grateful’ to have this job. ![]() Oh, and you haven’t actually been paid-at all-yet. Some of the feedback you’ve gotten so far from your boss has been pretty negative, and you’ve had to pull more all-nighters than you can count. Picture this: It’s just shy of your first-year job anniversary it’s review time.
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